LANGLEY HALL - THE LEGEND Beerwah Chronicle... Langley Hall was constructed by the McPherson family who left the declining port town of Campbellville while it was still in its heyday. The first of several manors in the Beerwah precincts, the titleholders are generally considered the 'first among equals' in the say of governance of Coochin and surrounding precincts. The McPherson family having been without issue in the 3rd generation, ownership fell to the absentee Thane of the Western Isles, Lord Lennox, who appointed Admiral Fludd to manage the day to day affairs and take up long-term residence. Its architectural inspiration comes from both Greek classical and French neo-imperial styles, Langley combines sweeping lines of staircases, wide atriums, with august columns and soaring towers. A masterpiece of bold statements, it also reveals to the discerning eye more subtle areas of quiet beauty, isolated meditative idylls and the creeping influence of the natural surrounds beckoning the visitor to partake of its splendour. --------- He was found wanting in the departments most appropriate to the refined-class servants, but found eager employ in the sprawling gardens of Langley. He was taken on as an enterprise to make good the human potential lying deep within his dusky exterior. The Langley household felt good about it once initial concerns were layed to rest with the promise of increased security arrangements and a strict ban against moving within 20 metres of the residence, otherwise rapid or inexplicable movements or unearthly cries and caterwailings in the deep night. He has worked out amazingly well, showing uncanny appreciation of the fine points of rose management, as if from an unseen sense his hands moulded the growing buds with a subtle, primitive life force. One night he was dressed in the seconds of a formal suit and tie [good enough for almost anyone] and made good a debut of sorts into the society at Caboolture [far enough away to avoid close interrogation]. The experiment thus concluded successfully, he followed his days in steady labour, day by day in the gardens and wide fields around Langley, creating beauty wherever he worked. On the balconies upstairs tea was taken by guests and visitors who admired the work, hardly imagining the author of it, though they did see a dark man lolling about the beds. ---------- two shadowy figures were behind admiral fludd's precipitious rise to power. Lord Lincoln and Amschel Roxborough are pulling the strings of everything important in Coochin. fludd is too stupid to realize. ----------
Langley Hall on a Sunday afternoon - where's Nigel ! ---------- have just bought "The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien" & shall inspect them for any evidence of plagiarism with respect to Boozerville & The Lord of Langley. ---------- good idea. i suspect he has stolen a lot of ideas and characters from us. the troll comes to mind. ---------- as a young lad, Nigel was taken in at Langley Hall. He proved a worthy recipient of his master's wise and careful tutelage, and quickly learned all the tasks required both inside and out. His debut into Caboolture society went off without hitch, and soon found himself in the midst of a busy social whirl. meanwhile the Admiral appointed him to the post of manager of the plantations, during which time Nigel increased production nearly 50%. However, as so often happens [and as frequently warned about in the fables of old] he fell into less than exemplary company. he began to visit the numerous gaming houses and taverns along the coast, often stumbling home to Langley Hall in the early hours. The Admiral was too circumspect to confront Nigel directly [an understandable fault] with the result that his management of the plantation soon went downhill with a series of blunders, and quarrels with overseers. The dreadful denoument was in some ways inevitable. One night Nigel was carousing with colleagues in the upstairs snooker room when fire broke out. It quickly spread through the ageing timbers and all those inside were trapped without hope of rescue. The devastation was discovered the next morning by the garden hand who had spent the previous fateful night fortuitously lost in the surrounding fen when chasing up a pair of wandering goats. After this, the Admiral found no stomach to rebuild Langley and returned to the Scottish Highlands. The gardener Gerald remained behind and found employment in a nearby residence. Langlry has never been rebuilt ---------- there are 1 million damned sperm whales who eat about 5 tons of fish a day. no wonder there is no fish left in coochin creek. [and i thought it was the pesticide wash-off from the pineapple fields]. ---------- i'll bet on the dugong being the problem in Coochin Creek. alas Nigel failed me miserably at Langley Hall and I think Gerald is just content to potter around the ruins accosting lost tourits with wild tales of yore. it's safer for me up in the highlands now & Langley is now a bitter memory. I have no motivation to solve the fish problem. let the dugong & the coochinese fight it out over them. may the best cetacean win. ---------- hahha yes its a miserable sight. gerald doesnt even eat pizza anymore. try learning the bagpipes, it will be a sure cure for bad memoris. ---------- I am practicing on a congealed sheep paunch which i confiscated off Nigel before I took the high road from Langley Your mates in Canberra sure know how to throw a barbie. anyone get singed? ---------- their worst trauma was when the gnome from parliament house rolled up to offer 'condolences.' i believe he told one young man not to worry about his house as he was being shipped off to iraq next week. ---------- has al Qaeda been blamed yet? ---------- waiting on it! ---------- we've no time for mob rule here, we've a war to fight against the Halibut, Nth Koreans, Nigel, dissident elements within the CLF and the Houghton Council. Once these incidents are under control, we can hand over the reins of democracy to our loyal subjects ---------- whose the CLF? sounds like you have a lot on your hands. will send more horse vitamins ---------- The Coochin Liberation Front which I suspect Gerald has formed in a fit of pique over his demotion to houseboy at Langley Hall. ---------- i see. the CLF may link up with the Halibuts as well. you are in dangerous times. good luck, fill me in with what happens. im off to rio... ---------- still no extradition treaty with Brazil? ---------- a delegation from the Isles of Bute and Kintyre is arriving shortly to present a petition regarding something or other. i knwo these people well; they are tiresome and pretentious nobodies who claim some imaginary connection with the Scottish kings. naturally you do not want to mee them, so i suggest you absent yourself from the grounds and withdraw to an upstairs room. i have instructed Nigel to make sandwiches for you and for Gerald to provide doddering company for them downstairs until ennui drives them away. ---------- some bastard offspring of Bonny Prince Charlie no doubt - even with Nigel & Gerald they could be deemed to be social climbers. will hold the fort just in case they plan to usurp my rightful possession of the province. ---------- ah good point. one tends to overlook danger whne it arrives in such mediocre packages. the opium crop is almost ready for harvest. this year i am confident we will more than make up for last year's disasters. ---------- now that we've got rid of the ideological fanatics (keep an eye on Gerald) we can got on with the real business of making $ at all costs ---------- Gerald was a bit player in a dog-day afternoon when the lairds of Bute and Macintyre wandered into view he huffed and quaffed and wagged his tail and ran slobbering to their side but not before he made a thin sly whistle for Nigel who was inside the labyrinthine stately mansion known as Langley Hall when Nigel heard the whistle his ear lobes stood on end he knew the signal [practised hard] so launched into the task and in a trice the sandwich slice of ham and pickle made he dashed upstairs with said victuals for the Admiral's taste while Gerald was a-wandering across the fields and meadows with the lairds in close behind professing the need for a side-door show as the main gate was mined and harrowed [though we know, no more than with a grey ghost's marrow] so the lairds in confus-ed fashion were led so far astray by the scheme of a plain and simple man that at length they grew alarmed and weary and stopped in mid-distress: "old man you've led us away from where we were planned to go now the spires of Langley hall are like glassy peaks of snow when viewed from meadows down below"- when gerald interrupted this - "sirs" he said "one minute more, i'll recalculate the longitudonal score let me see the tallest pine- one more step and it is clear, then we are on our way out of here" and with that he disappeared behind a copse of trees and the lairds at length they waited until all reserved abated they cried "we have been tricked: this fool has led us into the mire and here we shall all expire, with no guide back to the green; if only we learnt as younger lads the art of the chase and the hunt we'd get back home, but now we're lost now we're into infinity tossed on the outskirts of Langley Hall." and so fair ended a perilous day when Gerald made his secret way back to the stately home and upstairs went with a smile, content he'd defeated the lairds of the western loams so rest now Gerald, with a sanger or two while Nigel unstacks the cues there'll be billiards tonight and a few cards allright to finish this glorious day. ---------- Congratulations - you have been awarded the Poet Laureateship of Coochin Maddock ---------- what is the stipend for this post? ---------- a good poem! mine was not a 'poem' as you maliciously describe it. it was a faithful reproduction of an article from the Beerwah Chronicle. i am not in the habit of embellishing true stories just for some trivial entertainement value. thank you. ---------- Your emoluments will consist of one peppercorn & the fishing rights to that portion of Ewan Maddock Dam to the East of the Bruce Highway. Don't quibble - Nigel was happy ( & earned a livable income) from the fishing rights to the Sierra Beerwah. ---------- quite so. i plant o write a 4 volume history of the region which will make Stan Tutt's work read like Ben Hur. ---------- nigel is able to catch fish with his bare hands. i need dynamite. i may encroach on the western portion...the eastern side is full of car wrecks [2 of them]. ---------- that's ok - just don't tell gerald & nigel who are building a fishing shack ON the highway ---------- what is this Langley they keep talking about? i must have picked this up somewhere and then regurgitated it believing i had thought of it. how disappointing.. The upcoming war in Iraq war is mostly about how the ruling class at Langley and the Bush oligarchy view hydrocarbons at the geo-strategic level, ---------- yes - i thought i had made a mistake once, but i was wrong.