HOW TO GET A JOB..PART 2- HELPFUL TIPS ON YOUR JOB REFERENCE A CASE STUDY 19 Sep 2003 10:47:36 +1000 Have received correspondence from the hallowed halls of academe viz CSIT regarding your application for tenure of a Professorship at that noble seat of learning. Shall have to don my AS05 uniform for this one & chant myself into a frenzy of moral inexactitude. Any assistance would be appreciated. It looks revoltingly like APS selection criteria crap. ------------------------- seems Captian Chadwick has been talking with you. in the resistance we have to keep a low profile. you rang for some reason? a spy got the message tghrough to me ------------------------- some collusion will be required for this reference eg have you been working part time for "SpotCat Computers" & for 5 years? ------------------------- what bloody reference? did someone ring you up from CSIT? this will be just a personal reference not a work reference ------------------------- It states you nominated me as a referee ------------------------- ok...now i remember, it must have been heather at Sierra I nominated as personal ref. apparently you were my supervisor at CES. do you have to write a response or speak it? ------------------------- how long will this take? you are aware this is for a cleaning position? i wouldnt put too much effort into it. ------------------------- that's it. i ll check back with it later. remember when i cleaned up the battery acid spill in the CES carpark? use that as an example. dont mention i made the problem in the first place. no..i suggest "unable to comment" against criteria 4 and 5. write one sentence for each. ------------------------- and no comment for criteria 1 also. for criteria 6 put '***** likes abos and enjoyed their company over a roast kangaroo and a bottle of metho.' ------------------------ that's it. i ll check back with it later. remember when i cleaned up the battery acid spill in the CES carpark? use that as an example. dont mention i made the problem in the first place. no..i suggest "unable to comment" against criteria 4 and 5. write one sentence for each. ------------------------- finished yet? ------------------------- will send you my answers soon. doing them now. ------------------------- do a good job and I'll buy you a bottle of Rowdy's Rum. ------------------------- 1. Demonstrated ability in discharging duties of a cleaning nature with demonstrated effectiveness in achieving goals "X" worked on a part time basis as a cleaner for my business * * * * * Services in ***********for 6 months in 2002. I was quite satisfied with his performance which only terminated when a family member volunteered to do this work at no cost which was a lot cheaper for me. 2. Demonstrated ability to work with a minimum of supervision "X" had access to my offices after hours and fulfilled all duties to my satisfaction, performing extra tasks which were not previously apparent to me. These tasks bore no relation to his assigned duties and resulted in numerous repars to the office. 3. developed interpersonal and communication skills, including an ability in working and accepting responsibilities as a team member. "X" was a pleasure to work with, and we were able to discuss and negotiate work duties and other matters in a frank and open manner. Violence was resorted to on only a few occasions. 4.Working knowledge of cleaning procedures, including the correct use of cleaning equipment and the ability to identify and use chemicals correctly. "X" appeared to me to be very competent in the operation of cleaning equipment - vacuum-cleaning, carpet shampooing and kitchen & bathroom cleaning, including the use of chemicals. Having interests in chemistry, I was able to observe his awareness of chemical reactions, the need for appropriate concentrations and safe handling, storage & disposal methods. His van was a mobile chemistry set which provided consatnt entertainment & alarm to passing visitors. 5. Demonstrated ability to maintain cleaning equipment in good working order and/or arrange repair and servicing as necessary. "X" has good mechanical aptitude and understanding of electrical problems, and was able to perform on-the-spot fixes as well as arrange for repairs. His equipment was always in good working order. I was a little concerned, however, at his frequent use of a jack-hammer when tuning his 2-stroke vacuum cleaner - his own invention apparently. 6. Basic understanding of employment equity, anti-discrimination and occupational health and safety practices and behaviour as applied in a working environment, including knowledge of Workplace Health and Safety Act and regulations, with particular reference to Institutes of TAFE and the storage and use of cleaning equipment and chemicals. "X" was an Employment Officer at the Normanton CES and was constantly aware of employment, anti-discrimination and OH&S provisions in dealing with employers and employment candidates. We have a large range of computing, communications and office equipment here at * * * * * Services and "X" was aware of issues involved in maintaining this equipment. ------------------------- finished yet? ------------------------- very good. i sure hope you dont send this off. it would not correlate with my CV as i [for once told the truth. ------------------------- Could you amend where necessary. I'll send it today. ------------------------- A literary masterpiece extolling your many virtues has this day been forwarded to Gympie University. ------------------------- so what exactly did u say in this referees report? I may live to regret nominating you, I should stick with Arne Rasmussne, my one-time supervisor at Action supermarket. ------------------------- what did u write? ------------------------- exactly what I sent you before ------------------------- are u serious? this will not concur with what i told them... ------------------------- yes ------------------------- how should i explain away this pack of lies? ------------------------- you worked part-time - very part-time if you prefer ------------------------- i think it was only once i worked there. i picked up a newspaper on the floor of your office. ------------------------- yes i remember the occasion - you did it extremely well ------------------------- it was indeed very well written. i shall denounce it as a pack of lies. This will bemuse them, and may be the first time in history that an applicant has refuted his own referee. always good to be the first. ------------------------- you may have a short but brilliant career. perhaps an honorary cleanership may be awarded to you. ------------------------- i'll have you to thank for it. i ran into another guy today who said i had nominated him as referee too. could be more out there. better ring Arne just in case. ------------------------- you might as well give your prospective employers an electoral roll for your referees list and be done with it.