ARCHEOLOGICAL HISTORY OF THE COOCHIN FENS


the indigenous history of the fenlands is lost in the fog of the remots
past, but clues have been found in the form of potsherds, shellmiddens,
carvings etc.  it seems wayfaers from the outer bribie passage made their
way into the fens and swamps of the coochin area at least by 2,000 BC
[perhaps under pressure from more advanced sea peoples invading the bribie
islands area].  signs of habitations are frequent along the banks of the
coochin right up to beerwah, and also spread out in less frequency into the
depths of the marshes. one can surmise they lived sufficiently off
shellfish, crab and fish in the coochin river and its meagre tributary
streams.  their culture seems to have been extremely primitive but
undoubtedly they were a hardy breed to survive the mosquito-ridden swamps
[perhaps burning large bunches of eucalypt leaves, as carvings seem to
attest to some 'smoking' practice].  several sites of carvings have been
found but only one is currently open to public inspection. see the beerwah
tourist bureau [18 simpson st] for further details.
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See it now before the war starts
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Caloundra: founded as a fishing village more than one hundred years after
Redcliffe, Caloundra eventually took over from its southern rival due to the
superior harbour facilities presented by the Bribie Passage.  This enabled
the riches from the interior to be trasported via the Coochin through the
port, the harbour taxes boosting the coffers [and providing occasions for
bloody turmoil over the rates imposed].  The Dowd family really put it on
the map in the late 1800s as a commercial fishing town, and the opening of
the fish cannery in 1921 saw the town become a city and a major exporter.
It lacks the bucolic charm of Redcliffe and the regal air of Beerwah, but
its here that the dollars are made.  the beaches are nothing special but you
can enjoy an ice cream cone and a plastic cup of Gargiolo's wine any time
along the meandering esplanade while you watch the steamers from the Coochin
head along the Passage.  [note: the recent sinking of the BVBFB steamer
right in the centre of the Passage has altered the watercourse and sandbanks
and is currently a hazard.  Waterbourne trade has suffered severely].
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Cloundra's fame now open to the world
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ever had a drop of gargioli's? not bad with potato scallops to mop up the
taste.
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not in a plastic cup - would be like drinking beer out of a teacup although
i hear that rowdy does it when he thinks no-one's looking.
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gargioli's has a 'fiesta-siesta' pack which includes with the wine cask a
packet of peanuts, a vacuum-packed salami slice, a plastic cup and a plastic
stirrer. its a big hit in the hinterland.

the story of gargioli's vineyard down pine-needle road beerwah will be told
shortly.
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yes we need more "vignettes" for the Beerwah province.
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Beerburrum: an isolated rail junction stop-off on the Great Northern Rail
link. timber hauled from the vast reaches of the gloomy forests surrounding
are loaded here for the journey south to Caboolture.  its a tough town where
strangers are not usually found wandering too far off the platform during
the 20 minute rail stop.  During the Internecine Period the Maleny Doughboys
tangled with the Beerburrites a few times and came off second best; ever
since then no one, and certainly not Langley Hall, has intervened in their
affairs.   One of the dark corners of the Hinterland best viewed behind the
window of your locked rail carriage.
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Glasshouse: once a quaint country town on the rail line, Glasshouse in
recent years has moved beyond petunias and macadamias and rosella jam to
embrace small scale hi-tech enterprises through the set-up of a nuveau
business centres.  a novel advanced microwave radio gabulator network portal
now runs smoothly besides a macadamia tissue research culture station.
engineers and technicians from various high-brow european countries with 12
syllable sch-zch-ivsky-ovsky names dwell along Bangalow Road.  The coffee in
the cafe is now perco-bombulated and supplied with croissants to please
them. the locals love it, beats a toasted sandwich with a Bushells any day.
If you want to see what the future will be like, see it now at Glasshouse.
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  north pine history: north pine, perched between two upper reaches of the
redcliffe bay catchment area, was a holdfast for redcliffers during the
heady days of seaborne raiders and brigands. retreat there was made complete
by setting fire to the surrounding woods and pouring burning pitch into the
waters. in peace time it provided useful fishing areas for freshwater
species such as bass, beerburrum cod and gump turtles.  In modern times
north pine is a non-descript satellite suburb of copycat duplexes providers
factory workers for the industrial plants of morayfield and lower-echelon
mandarins for the regional government in brisbane.  existential despair
rates here are high.
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have u considered relocating your operations to glasshouse?
it seems a hip happenning place from what ive seen of it. full of hi-tech
business centres now
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work on the site will continue until i succumb to anthrax/plague/radiation.
the full story of the Hinterland must be preserved even for remote
generations. how many times have you said to yourself  "If only i had book 3
of Anaximander to consult I would have this problem solved, but, alas, the
book was lost in the fire of the Alexandria library" ?
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yes its quite frustrating - civilisation was set back over 1000 years, and
in some cases we may not gave caught up yet.

perhaps the coochinese may have rough copies of some of these manuscripts in
their Repository of Culcha.
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and where is this said repository?
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you'll have to deal with the coochinese on that one. i suspect its in the
back of the fibro bait shop & general store.
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repository of culcha:

a copious pile of parchments found in the swamplands of the Coochin.
preserved in the mud for more than two thousand years, these documents
remain mysterious and are largely undeciphered. the script is of
neo-typhonian style. extrapolating from other languages in this group has
yielded some tentative translations of food lists/harvests and fishing
yields. [not earth-shattering; I suspect they are a boring lot and as
enlightened as the various sea-people 'civilisations' that ply the ocean to
the east (and they make the beaker people look like a Kant brotherhood)].
other parchments i havent deciphered as yet. [dont hold your breath either
as i have to stretch this out for another decade at least].
the repository is held at the Beerwah library and not for viewing to the
public. visiting scholars can contact me for access. ring by 11am otherwise
i will have buggered off to the pub.

professor nigel thistlethwaite
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have u considered applying to be governor of coochin province?
if its half as lucrative as governor of qld [$110,000 tax-free] you'll be on
a good wicket.
qld governor is on duty for one day of the year [shaking hands with 'new
citizen' esmeralda gonzalez (formerly of Cebu City) and 12,000 of her
buddies].  could it be harder in Coochin?
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it's a worthy sinecure for my years of hardship in the colony
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your career in the coochin navy is hardly a story of hardship. my count is
that you went to sea exactly once..and that was on the ewan maddock.
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a glorious victory that - well worthy of its place in the annals of great
sea battles.

i hope your are sending that complete set of tupperware you won as the Amway
salesperson of the month back in 1996 to the boys in the trenches. it's the
least you can do to boost their morale.
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i have never worked with amway. and besides, i stopped working for them a
long, long time ago. the boys on the front are dog food im afraid, i'll
stick to making progress in coochinville.