The Caboolture branch of the Commonwealth Employment Service, being in a renowned pastoral district that was once part of the Moreton Bay penal colony, was at the forefront in championing Equal Animal Opportunity and in balancing the sometimes conflicting needs and desires of clients and candidates of several species. A high rate of successful outcomes was achieved, as was all too evident from the many smiling faces and moos of contentment that provided the backdrop to happier times in the now forlorn Caboolture CBD.
Some carefully re-constructed fragments from client records on abandoned hard drives and ticker tapes found in earthenware pots in the CES vault provide a glimpse of those golden days:
"Client and pet cow have been granted approval to move to Warwick to escape abusive husband. However client has been advised of the need for vigilance as the Killarney meatworks is only 20 km from the town".
"PLEASE NOTE: THIS CLIENT HAS AN EXTENSIVE RECORD OF ANIMAL HUSBANDRY!"
"Client states unable to work due to loss of 2 fingers. Discreet observation appears to confirm this. This is consistent with the client's history of pig husbandry as it is now the LEFT hand which is displaying duplex digital deficiency"
"Client has been forced to quit her poultry farm job due to continual
harassment by metre-high cocks. She has been advised that no human need tolerate
the often unwanted attentions of these Sultans of the Poultry Shed and has been
encouraged to seek redress from the Equal Rights Commissioner"
"Client has left huband and is now boarding at a horse stud. She is seeking a stable relationship."
Copyright 1999